Liberating yourself from “expert” advice

High school students receive a lot of advice about the college admissions process from a wide range of people in their lives: parents, teachers, college counselors, peers, the Internet, and more. Much of this advice is sound, or at least well intentioned. But it can create a lot of noise, and therefore, considerable stress.

In addition, some of this well-intentioned advice is, in my opinion, wrong. Nowhere is this more evident than with the Common App personal statement. Several of my clients report being told a series of “don’ts” by teachers and other adults in their lives: don’t write about anything that’s too personal; don’t write about traumatic events; don’t write about experiences that are too common. Rightly so, my clients come to me bewildered. “I can’t think of anything to write about,” they report. “I’ve been told that all my ideas are bad.”

What I tell them is simple: be yourself. Write about something that is genuinely important to you. The prompts on the Common App are framed in a way that is intentionally broad, so that any student can find a story to tell that meets the requirements. I encourage my clients not to try to guess what admission committees want, but rather, to write a compelling story that reflects who they truly are. That way, once they are accepted to a college, they’ll know that the college really wants them, and not the person they were pretending to be.

Some of my competitors have their clients write thousands of words in preparation for the Common App personal statement, and then work with the student to shape these multiple essays into something they think admissions committees will like. My approach is different. I work with my clients through one-on-one conversation to help them discover their own stories. Then they write multiple drafts, with my role being that of questioner and respondent. This isn’t boot camp. This is a journey of joyful self discovery and storytelling. My clients leave our sessions feeling energized and excited to work on their essays—not demoralized.

Seniors across the country are working on their personal statements, supplemental essays, Common App activity pages, and other quirky elements of the college application process. If you already know where you’re applying, but want help refining and polishing your applications, consider my Essay and Application package for seniors! You’ll have peace of mind knowing that you’ve put forward the best version of yourself for colleges to see, and that the ideas in your essays are yours alone.

Have fun learning about colleges!

As a college admissions consultant, one of the most fun things I get to do is learn about many different colleges and universities, and the unique aspects of their academic programs, student communities, campus facilities, and off-campus opportunities. The more I learn about individual schools, the more I am convinced that there is a great college or university out there for nearly every student who wants to go to college.

This week I had the opportunity to attend a web event through IECA (Independent Educational Consultants Association) focusing on the University of Rochester. Their Director of Admissions talked with us about the university’s emphasis on interdisciplinary studies, their search for applicants who exhibit strong academic character, and the many opportunities for students in the city of Rochester and the surrounding area. I had known previously that the University of Rochester was known for its excellent school of medicine—but little else. I now have a much better understanding of the breadth of what the university has to offer.

This ever-growing body of knowledge, aided by my involvement in professional organizations such as IECA, is one of the things I offer as a college counselor, and one reason why working with me can make a real difference for my clients. Here are a few simple tools I use that can aid you with your own college search:

Edward Fiske puts together an annual Fiske Guide to Colleges that goes beyond the traditional rankings-style approach used by the likes of U.S. News and World Report and Princeton Review. I like all these resources, but I prefer Fiske’s more personalized approach. I get a better feel from Fiske for each school’s unique personality.

Frederick Rugg has now written 35 editions of his quirky PDF-only “Rugg’s Recommendations” guides. Rumor has it he’s retiring from this work, but I still reference his most recent guide before I make a confident claim that a college or university has a particularly strong program in any specific subject area.

Niche.com has a detailed, searchable database of colleges and universities that can help you locate schools by size, geographical location, selectivity, and more.

Regional open houses for prospective college students are often well attended by many colleges and universities. They are a great way to speak directly with a representative from the college (usually their regional admissions recruiter) and get to know them. This is helpful both for helping you to get a sense of the school and vice-versa.

Friends and family who have attended a particular college or university can offer behind-the-scenes insight into what it’s actually like to attend a particular school.

Most of all, visit schools! You will begin to gain a strong sense of what kinds of schools feel like home to you and which ones don’t. Remember that you’re not after perfection—but what you are after is a place where you can imagine yourself living, working, and learning for the next four years.

Should I apply Early Decision?

Many colleges and universities have Early Decision and Early Action deadlines coming up in November. As a college counselor, one of the strategic decisions I often help students with is deciding whether or not to apply early, and how to navigate this process. Here are a few general thoughts I share with my clients on the different options:

Early Decision: This is a binding agreement with the college where you agree to attend that school if you are accepted during the Early Decision process. You may only apply Early Decision to one college or university at a time—although some schools now have multiple Early Decision deadlines. Applying Early Decision can increase your odds of being accepted at that school, so it can be a great option for students who have a clear first choice.

Early Action: Early Action is a non-binding way to get an admissions decision back from schools long before the regular admission pool. This may help you to eliminate schools from your college list, and it can also provide peace of mind knowing you have been accepted to one or more schools that you like.

Regular admission: This is usually the best option for students who want to weigh acceptance offers from multiple schools before deciding which school they want to attend. If you want to wait and see what your financial aid offers are, and if you want to know whether or not you’re eligible for merit-based grants, it can be best to enter the regular admission pools at multiple colleges.

Rolling admission: Some schools do not have a specific deadline for admission. It can be nice to have a rolling admission school as a backup option in case you are not granted admission to one of your top schools.

Above all else, recognize that your situation is unique! You don’t have to apply Early Decision just because your friends are all doing it. Conversely, it can be kind of nice to have your college decisions for next year made before the winter holiday break—if that’s the right choice for you. This is a great discussion to have with your college admissions counselor. At Confluence College Admissions Consulting, we can help you think these decisions through with your unique situation in mind.

Seniors!

High school seniors across the country are in the thick of their college application process: visiting colleges, writing personal statements, filling out their Common Apps, researching scholarships and grants, requesting teacher recommendations, and of course, juggling all these things in addition to being a full-time student, participating in clubs and sports, and trying to find time for food, sleep, and socializing.

It’s a lot. And Confluence College Admissions Consulting is here to help. Now is a great time to sign up for one of our packages and build a relationship with your own independent college counselor. It can be a huge relief having another person to help you double-check and make sure you’re getting everything done on time and not overlooking some important detail.

Right now a number of my clients are taking advantage of the long holiday weekend to visit colleges. These visits can make a huge difference for you as you narrow down your list of schools to the ones you actually end up applying to, and it may help you decide whether or not you wish to apply Early Decision or Early Action. There is something about setting foot on an actual campus that can be so much more meaningful than doing a virtual tour or a Zoom call with an admissions representative.

If you’re going to physically visit schools, here are Jim’s top 5 suggestions for preparing for these visits:

1. Find out who your regional admissions counselor is. Most colleges and universities have a member of their admissions team designated for your region of the country. This is the person who’ll be your strongest advocate when it comes time for the admissions committee to review your application. It’s great if you can get to know this person a little bit—by email, Zoom, or in person.

2. Participate in an on-campus tour, information session, or open house. This will give you a good sense of what the college believes its own strengths and selling points are.

3. Schedule a personal interview. Especially since the COVID-19 pandemic started, many colleges have moved away from doing in-person admissions interviews. But some schools still do them, either in person or via Zoom. If this is an option, do it! It’s a great way to learn more about the school, and it will almost certainly make your application stand out (in a good way).

4. Leave time for exploration. Take a self-guided tour of the campus. This is a good way to visit the studio art spaces if that is an interest of yours, and it’s also nice to sample the food at the school cafeteria or check out the library. You’ll learn more about the school from this informal walking tour beyond what you were able to experience as part of an official tour.

5. Visit multiple schools. Ideally, visit different kinds of schools. Visit both large and small schools. Both highly selective schools and less selective schools. Private liberal arts colleges and state universities. Through your multiple school visits, you’ll develop a sense of what kind of school feels most like the kind of place you want to spend the next four years.

If you’re looking for support with any aspect of your college process, please contact us today for a free consultation!

Eleventh grade: a year for wish lists

The junior year of high school is the time I recommend for most students to begin their college search process in earnest. By eleventh grade, students are generally well settled into high school socially, and they have identified sports, extracurricular activities, and academic subjects that interest them. Now it’s time to begin looking ahead to get a head start thinking about college.

Think about your current school community. Do you attend a large high school? If so, do you like the size of your school? Or do you wish you could walk the halls of your school and know the names of everyone you see? Does your school offer a wide range of honors and AP classes? If not, do you wish it did? Take stock of all the things you like and dislike about your current school.

Now consider the type of college you think you might like to attend. Are you seeking an experience similar to the one you had in high school, or do you want to expand your perspective socially, geographically, and/or academically? Do you want to be in the middle of a big city? Or do you prefer a small campus in a rural area? Do you thrive in small classes where your teachers know you well, or do you prefer the anonymity of large lecture-style classes?

For high school juniors and their parents, here are Jim’s top 5 tips for high school juniors wanting to get ready for college:

1. Do well in school. If you’re applying to selective colleges, doing well academically is always important. But it’s especially important to rise to the challenge during your junior year. Eleventh grade is the year colleges examine most closely when they look at your application. Be sure to shore up your study habits, take care of your health, and ask your teachers for extra help when you need it.

2. Begin drafting a college list. This can begin with thinking about your high school. What do you like and dislike about your high school’s community? Do you like a small school or a large school? Do you want the option of taking honors classes? Do you like sports teams and a strong sense of school spirit? Do you prefer urban or rural? Then make plans to visit schools, either as part of family travel or as a college-specific trip.

3. Study for, and take, the SAT and/or ACT. Many colleges and universities are now test optional, but some still require standardized testing. In general, I suggest taking at least one of these tests during your junior year. If you took the PSAT as a sophomore, review your results and study the areas where you can most stand to improve. Khan Academy has a good test prep course you can take online for free. Once you get your results back, then you can decide whether to take the test again, send your results to colleges, or omit sending scores.

4. Practice kind, respectful self talk. You may experience pressure from parents, teachers, coaches, and peers to get good grades and also perform well in sports and other extracurricular activities. This can be stressful. Remind yourself that you are doing your best, be proud of your achievements, and offer yourself words of affirmation and positivity. You deserve it.

5. Make use of your college counselor. Whether this person is an employee of your high school or an independent college admissions consultant, this person knows the process inside and out and is there to support you.

Most of all, think of the college admissions process as a learning and growth opportunity, and have fun with it! I often advise my clients just to take a breath and remember that we’ll eventually find an opportunity that’s a great fit for them. It doesn’t need to be nerve-wracking—it actually can be quite joyful!

Tenth grade: the growth year

Sophomore year of high school is often regarded as a kind of “middle child” year. Sophomores aren’t getting the hang of high school in the way they did when they were freshmen. At the same time, they’re not yet upperclassmen. Except in rare cases, they’re not really looking ahead to college, and they may not yet be taking leadership roles on sports teams or clubs. Some students report experiencing a kind of existential ennui—and a resulting loss of purpose.

In my role as college counselor, I encourage students in tenth grade to focus on their sense of purpose. This will help them in multiple ways. Purpose is often the precursor to growth, and it can also help reduce boredom, cynicism, and frustration with school. Having a clear sense of purpose can also help students navigate difficult social relationships. For this reason, when working with high school sophomores I tend to de-emphasize the college search process and instead focus on the here and now.

With this emphasis on purpose in mind, here are my top 5 tips for making tenth grade a meaningful year in the college preparation process:

1. Read, read, read. If there’s one thing you can do to improve your academic performance across all classes, it’s developing your reading skills. The great news here is that it mostly doesn’t matter what you read; to derive the intellectual benefits of reading, it only matters that you read. You’ll become a better (and faster) reader, a stronger writer, and a better critical thinker.

2. Continue to grow as a learner. How did freshman year go? What do you want to build on, or improve on? I recommend setting goals that are less about results (“I will get an A in Spanish”) and more about habits. “I will show my English teacher a draft of all my papers before handing them in” is a worthwhile goal, as is “I will read one book for pleasure over winter break.”

3. Deepen your involvement. Maybe last year you joined your high school’s yearbook club. This year, how about taking over as the yearbook’s chief photographer, now that the person who did it last year has graduated?

4. Keep a journal. Write in it at least four days a week for 30 minutes. No need to show it to anyone else—this journal is for your personal use only. It’s a great way to collect thoughts, process your experiences, vent your frustrations, and celebrate your successes. Research shows that keeping a journal is good for your emotional health. This is especially important during the inevitable turbulent times that will come.

5. Prepare for, and take, the PSAT. Okay, so here’s one tangible thing I do recommend that’s less about purpose and more of a strategic action you can take. Taking the PSAT in the spring of sophomore year sets you up to take the SAT in your junior year. That way you can re-take the SAT if you wish to improve your score. Before you take the PSAT, I strongly recommend preparing for it so that you’ll be familiar with the test format. Khan Academy has a free online course designed for preparing for the PSAT and SAT.

Here at Confluence College Admissions Consulting, we provide college counseling packages for tenth-grade students to help set them up for successful college admissions without obsessing over test scores and grades, and without making the process overly stressful. Reach out to us to set up a free consultation!

Is freshman year of high school too early to think about college?

In my role as college counselor, I am often asked, usually by parents, whether or not it’s too early for high school freshmen to start thinking about where they want to go to college. Understandably, they want to be proactive and set their child up for success, as any parent would.

My answer often surprises them. The short answer is yes. Yes, it’s too soon. Your high school freshman was in middle school just a few months ago. It’s way too soon for them to start worrying about college applications. They’re only now starting to get settled into high school, for Pete’s sake. Let them get acclimated to being a high school student first, and focus on college preparedness later.

That said, there are things that high school freshmen can do to get themselves settled successfully into high school, and these same things have the benefit of helping them succeed when it comes time to start thinking about college. They can become involved in school activities, both academic and nonacademic, where they will make friends and take a deeper dive into things they enjoy. They can establish good study habits. And they can create routines that will help them stay healthy.

Here are my top 5 suggestions for high school freshman looking to get a leg up on getting ready for college:

1. Prioritize healthy routines. Establish a consistent bedtime and stick to it. Aim for at least eight hours of sleep every night. Put your phone away an hour before bed. Eat nutrient-rich food, mostly vegetables. Start with a protein-packed breakfast. Get regular exercise: at least 20 minutes a day, five days a week.

2. Get involved. Pick two activities to participate in. They could be activities you’ve done for years, or you may choose to do something entirely new. Ninth grade is an ideal time to explore. If you feel like joining the wrestling team, do it. If you want to try out the forensics club because you’re a true crime aficionado, give it a whirl. You’ll create new friendships, and you’ll learn new things. Make your selections based on what sounds good to you. Don’t try to guess at what colleges want.

3. Focus on developing good study habits. Rather than setting goals centering on grades (“I will get an A in math”), set goals focusing instead on your own habits of mind (“I will study math 30 minutes every school night,” “I will meet with my math teacher after school one week before every exam”).

4. Plan intentional family time. Sit down for a home-cooked meal with your family twice a week. Everyone should put their phones and digital devices away. If your parents are too busy to cook, consider volunteering. It might sound hokey, but consider planning an interesting conversation topic for your time together. You only have a few more years left before leaving “the nest.” Make your family memories something you’ll look back on fondly.

5. Visit a college or two. If your family travels, consider scheduling a visit to a college in the area. Or visit a college near where you live. Ask yourself: can I envision myself here? Why, or why not? A college counselor can help you identify schools that make sense for you to visit.

Give yourself time to settle in. Make friends. Be yourself. Don’t worry about what colleges think—just take the time to discover who you are.

If you’d like help with any of this, Confluence College Admissions Counseling offers a package for ninth-grade students that include making a plan for all of the above, and more!

Making the personal statement personal

Yesterday I was working with a client on her personal statement for her college applications through the Common App. A common issue I see as a college counselor is the student who has great life experiences and ideas, but in their writing defaults to vague platitudes about things like "hard work" and "communication." My client was struggling with this issue.

Then we had a breakthrough. After an extended back and forth about some of her learning experiences, she began to tell me a story about being on her middle school Model United Nations team. Her team ended up being paired to work together with a high school team from another state. The other kids were much older than she was, and she was intimidated. At the same time, it became clear to her that she had valuable knowledge and insight to contribute. Her social instincts told her to keep quiet, but her loyalty to her teammates compelled her to speak up. Her contributions ultimately enabled her team to win that round of the competition. In hindsight, she now realizes that through this experience she learned self advocacy and tact, and how these can work in tandem to help her achieve her goals.

As a college admissions counselor, I live for these moments. I believe that the process of writing an essay, especially the Common App personal statement, can be, and should be, a process of joyful self discovery. I am proud to be a part of my client's college admissions process, and I look forward to reading future drafts of her ever-evolving essay. It's already good, and I know it will continue to get better. I know admissions officers will love reading it and getting to know her as much as I have.

For any student approaching the Common App personal statement, I offer these top 5 suggestions:

1. Tell a story. Vivid details and experiences will make your essay come alive much more than general statements of what you learned, or what you achieved. Good storytelling will enable you to find these specifics.

2. Answer the question. The prompts for the Common App personal statement are open ended, which should allow you to write about almost anything you want. That said, before you submit your essay, go back and reread the question. Make sure you’ve answered the question in a clear and straightforward way.

3. Use the space you have. The Common App personal statement is capped at 650 words. Use them! The essay prompt says to write between 250 and 650 words, but a 250-word essay is going to feel pretty skeletal to most readers.

4. Get feedback. Many applicants are reluctant to let anyone else see their essay. This is a mistake. Find someone you know and trust who can give you specific feedback and offer suggestions for revision.

5. Be yourself. Allow your unique, authentic voice to shine through. After all, you want to attend the college that allows you to be you, not necessarily the one highest in the U.S. News and World Report rankings.