College admissions TikTok and other pitfalls
If you’re a parent of a high school student considering college, you’ve probably seen the recent article in The New Yorker with the provocative title “The Particular Misery of College-Admissions TikTok.” The gist of the article is that social media applications—and TikTok in particular—have become places where teens go to share videos chronicling their successes, frustrations, disappointments, and despair as relating to their college admissions process. In today’s hyper-competitive college admissions environment, these TikTok videos are exacerbating college applicants’ stress and anxiety.
Helping to manage my clients’ stress is one of the areas of being a college admissions counselor that I take most seriously. This doesn’t mean I have a magic formula for reducing other people’s stress. High-anxiety people will tend to experience anxiety during the college admissions process. There are, however, several things I do to help:
At the same time that I offer encouragement to my students and their families when they become excited about a particular college or university, I try to make sure our discussions are grounded in reality around both admission probabilities and family finances. That way there aren’t any last-minute surprises.
I counsel every student to generate a college list that includes a mix of “reach” schools, “match” schools, and “likely” schools. Ideally, along the way each student will fall in “like” with at least one school where admission is likely, and depending on the family’s financial situation, at least one school where an offer of merit-based aid is a strong possibility.
I meet regularly with my clients so that we can strategize each step of the application process. Each of my clients—particularly those who sign up for a comprehensive package—knows that they’ve put their best foot forward, and that they’ve been as thorough and detail oriented as possible.
I help my clients set deadlines well ahead of the colleges’ deadlines to (hopefully) avoid procrastination and last-minute all-nighters.
I maintain an even-keeled temperament throughout the college admissions cycle. I feel a great deal of excitement when one of my clients is admitted to their dream college, or when they are offered a generous scholarship, of course. That said, I’m experienced enough to know that the more selective a college is, the less possible it becomes to guarantee acceptance even for the most well-qualified applicant. I’ve also seen enough delays in college admissions decisions and other correspondence not to read too much into these—as tempting as it may be to freight them with meaning.
It can be challenging for applicants—many of whom have never had a high-stakes job interview—to invest so much of their time and energy in putting together a strong application, only to have to let go of their attachment to the outcome once their application has been submitted. But it’s a great life lesson. There will be many more such scenarios in their lives.
Now that college decisions are coming back to high school seniors at a furious pace, this is an important time for all of us to keep our expectations in check; support students through the emotional rollercoaster of potentially being admitted, rejected, waitlisted, and/or deferred; and make sure there is a realistic and compelling Plan B (and a Plan C, as needed). As my clients’ advocate, coach, counselor, and consultant, I’m here to assist with all of this. In the ideal scenario, the student applicant comes to feel quietly confident in the preparation, planning, and execution of their college admission strategy.
If you’d like to learn more about what I can do to support your (or your child’s) college admissions process, please use the contact form on my website to schedule a free one-hour consultation.
